Holidays!

I'm officially on holidays! I am glad, but they haven't started too well.
Last night was my sister's 26th birthday. I was really looking forward to having a family dinner, as we hadn't had one since my Dad got back from his 6 week holiday. I was looking forward to it all week. Well, of course I took one look at Dad when I arrived at the restaurant (after a 6:30am start and a total of 3.5 hours driving) and knew he'd ruin the evening, which he then proceeded to do. He was in a foul mood and like usual took it out on the rest of us. My poor sister was so upset. Dad ended up saying that he was tired, it was not his kind of food, and left. He went and ate a kebab somewhere. I was terribly angry and disappointed. He was acting like a petulant child. He later returned, to our amazement, and though things started okay, he then deteriorated in his mood again. After dinner he went home & Mum & I went to my sister's place for a bit. I snuck off and got her an icecream cake as not only had Dad's mood soured the evening but her workmates had completely forgotten her birthday and she had had no cake. So I did what I could to salvage the evening. I felt really sorry for her.
ANYWAY - probably should backtrack a little while.

Friday
The footy last Friday was good, though tarnished by a few things, first of all that my sister & I weren't able to sit with our family, then that we were told there were no more seats available and we would have to stand (at $140/ticket I was pretty livid about this), and then Dad finally scrounged us some seats but they were single ones amongst strangers. So I spent the first quarter sitting by myself, eating some hot chips, and they stuck in my throat a bit because the whole thing I enjoy about the football is spending time with my family and here I was sitting by myself. The second quarter was better as I became friendly with my 'neighbours' and they were willing to move around a bit so my sister could come and sit next to me. After half time we were heading back to our seats and all of a sudden my sister leant down clutching her face as a big tall dude, in his haste to get back to his seat, had 'shouldered' her right in the eye (accidentally). Her glasses were broken, she had a few cuts, and I could see it was already starting to puff up, so we spent the entire third quarter at St Johns with her holding her an ice pack on her face (she still has a black eye a week later!). Anyway, the Hawks did eventually win the game, so that was good, but I have to say it wasn't the most enjoyable game I've ever been to by a long stretch (and, it was definitely the most expensive! :P). Cals in 1339, cals out 600.

Saturday
Big day today. Had work, which is usually straightforward & I usually finish bang on time, but today there were lots of complex cases (dog with fulminant heart failure, cat with abscess that I had to lance, blocked cat etc etc) so I finished late. It was a mad rush to get home, change my shirt, then head straight back out to do my interview (for an assignment) of a patient with a chronic illness. That took 2 hours, then I headed home before heading out for dinner with a group of 20 vets who are all now pursuing, or thinking of pursuing, alternative careers. It was a very enjoyable evening. Cals in 1328, cals out 0.

Sunday
Determined to burn off some of my indulgence with a decent workout this morning, so started the day with a 10k run (in just under an hour), then did about another half an hour of jogging & jumping around to take the cal burn up to 1000. Made Mish's mediterranean chicken for tea which was reasonably enjoyable though I've discovered I definitely don't like squash! Cals in 1148.

Monday
Had a 707cal workout to start the day. Made Mish's chickpea & veggie pies which were quite yummy (though needed a little salt for flavour) though made 4 pies instead of 2! Guess what I'll be eating for days! Cals in 1310.




Tuesday
650cal workout today, 1259cals in. Am really loving strawberries dipped in Chobani greek yoghurt. I have heard that the pineapple flavour is amazing but I haven't managed to find that yet. Didn't feel like dinner tonight so just had some healthy snacks instead.

Wednesday
Weigh-in day! Argh! I always dread this day. Anyway, I lost 300g. I'm okay with that. Since 12wbt officially kicked off, I have lost 500g/week (but, actually, most of my weight was still lost in pre-season!). As long as it's a loss, however small I will take it.
Stats:
-fat: 23.9% (down 0.1%)
-water: 56.5% (constant)
-muscle: 36.2% (constant)
-bone: 2.1kg (up 100g)
-BMI: 22.2 (down 0.1)
-daily kcal requirement: 2235 (down 9)
I had the day off from uni which was super pleasant. I slept in a bit, then went to the local shops to buy a few new clothes. The weather was warm so I went to pull on some shorts, and I was shocked when they were so loose they nearly fell down around my ankles! I bought 2 pairs of shorts, a new top, and a dress, and all were size 8, I could hardly believe it. I also tried on some pants in one shop, and size 8 was TOO BIG?!!! Amazing :) I do feel like I've lost some of my love handles, I like the shape of my legs & arms, but I definitely still have work to do around my tummy, especially my 'rib fat'. I feel my goal weight is still a realistic goal to aim for.
Headed to the gym after shops, 633cals out, 1012cals in. Had Mish's beef fajitas for tea again, didn't have mexican seasoning so used moroccan seasoning and this was AMAZING! Definitely one of my favourite recipes.

Thursday
Largely described above. Cals in 1660, was definitely doing some emotional eating after Dad's mood & there was no way I wasn't going to eat some of the icecream cake & make my sister eat it all by herself. Not bothered at all by the cal blowout as it is a rarity these days. Was a bit upset when I got home, and worked up, so I had to take a sleeping tablet to get to sleep. I feel so frustrated at the situation.

Today
Mum's in the hospital having another operation today, this time on her shoulder. It's made me rather anxious, as it does everyone when their Mum goes under an anaesthetic, I'm sure! I'm looking forward to being able to take care of her next week, as I'll be living at Mum & Dad's during my mid-sem break. Dad has no idea how to look after himself let alone himself & Mum, so this is definitely necessary. I've heard she's woken up from her procedure now & I hope to be able to visit her this afternoon. I'm going to make Mish's teriyaki chicken & vegetable stir-fry with noodles as I think Dad will tolerate that. Went for a 5.5k walk/run and burnt 400cals.

Plodding along

So the Wednesday weigh-in came and went and to my great surprise I managed to lose another 900g. I was almost certain I'd have a gain so this was a very pleasant surprise indeed. My stats were:
-Fat 24% (down 0.3%)
Water 56.5% (up 0.3%)
Muscle 36.2% (up 0.1%)
Bone 2kg
BMI 22.3 (down 0.3)
Daily kcal requirement 2244 (down 35)

Multiple times a day now I am having people comment on my weight loss. My pre-Europe jeans are now completely comfortable rather than a bit tight (and at the start, completely impossible to get on!), and I am starting to notice changes in my face (more angular - more attractive I think??). My legs are looking more muscular with all the running I am doing. The thing I am most looking forward to, despite forgetting to list it as a goal at the start, is the crease marks (from when I sit down and my tummy fat bunches up) to go away, and what I call my 'rib fat'. Besides the general tummy area I am now happy with my body shape. I do think my arms are thinning out a bit too & they have been my nemesis for a while, with my torso being a size 10 but my arms occasionally meaning I have to go up a size or sometimes even 2!!! 

I feel proud of myself and what I have achieved so far. Mentally I am in a good place. My body has long been a source on unhappiness for me and I am now starting to feel I have control over it rather than it having control over me. Sometimes it tries to fight me though as I have outlined in previous posts! I just hope what I have achieved is sustainable. I will likely do another round of 12wbt - another lean & fit if I have not achieved my goal weight, or lean and strong if I have. I hope this might cement these changes into my psyche permanently :)

Today we had a clinical skills day. This involves learning about examination of different body systems, and today was endocrine. I was feeling really exhausted and a friend was practicing on me and took my heart rate - 48 - and my blood pressure - 105/60. Haha no wonder I wasn't feeling great! She fed me a chocolate frog and about 20 minutes later we were doing blood glucose testing, and mine was 5.4mmol/L, which is consist with if I had been fasting, rather than post-lunch and post-choccie frog as I had been (for which normal is anything up to 11.1). Good to know I have absolutely no signs of diabetes anyway :)

Anyway, here's the latest summaries. Monday's cals finished up at about 1669 in, 1200 out.

Tuesday

1233 in, 403 out (toning day + dog walk). Made Mish's beef & broccolini stir-fry for dinner which was yummy and the portion plenty. 

Wednesday

1418 in, 1184 out. You'd be horrified to hear that, no joke, 584 cals of that was chocolate brownie! In fact I only ate one proper meal today cos I just wasn't hungry for some reason, so I just grazed instead. Had a final goodbye at the local Salvation Army crisis centre where I volunteered last semester. The first thing people did when they saw me was exclaim over how much weight I had lost. It's amazing how much of a difference losing just 5kg obviously makes!!! In the evening I attended a psychological first aid workshop run by a fellow student. It was really good. Pizza was on offer but I was good and took along a 12wbt cauliflower & chickpea curry instead. I enjoyed this but the serving size was a bit too big, so next time I'd split it into 4 servings instead of 2.

Today

Today started out well with a toning day at the gym before class, burning 400cals including my dog walk after uni. Couldn't control the snacking afterwards though, not sure why, just cravings rather than hunger, also feeling really tired at uni. Makes me wonder when I get super super tired at uni whether my blood sugar's just dropped really low. I'm going to try to eat more low GI foods & see if that helps. Maybe I should eat a bigger breakfast post-gym too (or higher protein), as my normal brekkie on uni days is just 2 corn thins with cheese.

Heading to the footy tomorrow night. Really excited. GO HAWKS! It will be great to hang out with my extended family and it will be the first time I have seen my Dad in a few months as he has been away for a while in the US. Poor thing flies in at 8am tomorrow and I cajoled him into going to the footy that same night! I plan to start the day with a 1000+cal gym session to really get my weekend kick-started :) Won't have time for exercise on Sat as I have work, then a patient interview, then out for dinner, but I'm happy to have a day off.

Exhausted.

I've hit a bit of a wall tonight, so I've decided to take the rest of the night off from study and just do some relaxing things. I didn't get enough sleep over the weekend and it was also a very full on weekend with a full day of an Indigenous Mental Health First Aid course each day.

Friday
Made Mish's bimbap for tea; really enjoyed it. Total cals out 1044, in 1236.

Saturday
Couldn't rouse myself to do any exercise before the course this morning. Had a ton of the provided pizza for lunch. Luckily wasn't hungry at dinnertime so just had a small cheesymite scroll Mum had got free. Cals out 0, cals in 1276.

Sunday
Really tired. Rediscovered how good Arnotts raspberry shortcake biscuits were at morning tea time...also had a few other lollies that were going. Cals in ~1339. Managed to JFDI after I finally got home (course ran overtime again), and while the sun was setting walked the dogs then ran for a while, total 7.7k

Monday
Back at uni, so this morning started with a bit over 2 hours of driving. Thankfully a short day so decided to blast it at the gym. Had my biggest session since owning an HRM to date - 1200cals burnt! Phew!!! That consisted of running 11.3k (1hr) on the treadmill, jogging/walking 1.2k on the cross-trainer on level 12 (20min), then walking my dog when I got home. I think it's certainly why I'm so tired now, and looking for snacks despite not actually being hungry. I have made passionfruit and coconut creme caramels for my housemate's belated birthday, so we will be enjoying those after she has had dinner. I'm already up to 1400cal for today but I don't care given my epic gym session, and I know I will do better tomorrow, the day before weigh-in.
The good news is that no part of my legs (besides my blistered feet) hurt much at all during my running today.

My body is fighting me but I am fighting it back

Well it hasn't been the greatest week. Mentally, I'm on top of the world! Physically, hmm, not so much!
So of course my right foot has been giving me a fair bit of grief as previously mentioned, though it has been less sore since I have been having a rest from wearing the runners.
As I've also mentioned, I've been wondering if I've been getting asthma, despite not having it since I was a little kid.
Last night when I was at my wonderful doc's, getting yet another dust mite desensitising injection (one fortnightly one to go before I start monthly jabs!), I mentioned it. She had a look up my nose, and said no wonder I couldn't breathe through it as both nostrils were nearly entirely occluded (blocked off) with nasal polyps which develop when you've got chronic rhinitis/sinusitis like I have had for the past couple of years. Greattttt. And she says yup, what I've described is definitely asthma, and probably worsened by the fact I can't breathe through my nose, as the nose plays a vital role in humidifying the air before it hits the lungs, as cold air makes your air passages close up.
So anyway, I'm to use a steroid nasal spray morning and night, use an asthma puffer (steroid & to widen my airways) morning and night, and if we're still not making progress, she's going to put me on oral steroids to try and shrink the polyps, which she otherwise says will take forever to decrease in size (surgery is an option but she says they often just grow back).
I'm happy to get started on the puffer & love the idea of being able to breathe through my nose again but the thought of oral steroids doesn't excite me as I know they lead to weight gain, bloating, and other yucky side effects.
Anyway, in more positive news, I had some thick insoles in some old shoes at my parents place, which fit in my new runners, and elevate my heel to the point where my bone is no longer bashing against the side of the shoe. Happy days! Today I tentatively (keeping my recent asthma diagnosis in mind, plus my physio's 'NO RUNNING!' advice) set out to see if I got pain in my legs after a while. Because of asthma and just starting on meds the previous night, I walked some of the way, but managed a bit over 10k including hills in about 1hr 7min. Not a bad effort. And the best part is, I got NO pains in the part of my foot that has been hurting recently, and I didn't get pains in my knee til about the 9k mark. I did get some pains in the outside of my left knee (great!!!) but I may just need to take the extra insole out of that shoe. We shall see! Came home and jumped around for a while to take the cal burn to 1004. If I can get on top of my asthma a half-marathon may be do-able after all :)

Thursday
Big day of driving (2hr45min) & long day at hospital placements & then at docs & chemist, so no exercise today. Days like this only happen once a fortnight so I'm okay with that. Unfortunately didn't reign it in food-wise too well, so ate about 1500cals including going out for dinner & having a mexican bean burger & chips :P

I DID IT!!!

YAYYYY!!! First weight-loss since 12wbt officially kicked off! I lost 1.5kg this week, bringing my total weight loss to 4.5kg - nearly halfway to my goal. I can taste that success...
My pre-Europe jeans are fitting pretty comfortably and I've had four or five people comment that I'm looking good or ask me have I lost weight :)
Fat 24.3% (down 0.7%)
Water 56.2% (up 0.4%)
Muscle 36.1% (up 0.3%)
Bone 2kg
BMI 22.6 (down 0.6)
Daily kcal requirement 2279 (down 52)

Barefoot at the gym today - some incline power walking on the treadmill, then some cross-trainer action. Burnt 604cals. Kept waiting to be kicked out for being shoeless but it didn't happen :)
Kept my cals light on during the day as I was really looking forward to a treat meal tonight - chicken & chips from apparently one of the best takeaways in Gippsland. Oh it did not disappoint! I think it tasted better as I haven't eaten it for a while. Let me tell you they did a lot better job of it here than the place near my parents in Melbourne, haha! Anyway, including 750cals for dinner (!) total cals in was 1387.

Bit nervous about the weekend. I'm heading back to Melbourne tomorrow afternoon, am going out to dinner tomorrow night, then at a course (with pizza day one, Subway day two apparently) all weekend (luckily I hate Subway). Plus Mum usually has some delicious baked goods available! Lots of red flags... Hopefully this week's weight loss will be the motivation I need to JUST SAY NO!!!

Oh, and another nice thing happened today - one of the girls at uni (a physio, but not the one I've mentioned heaps) said I've inspired her to get running and she managed her first 10k the other day. That made me really happy.

Although I'm not willing to verbalise it to anyone as it seems an impossible dream with my knees/feet being as biomechanically useless as they are, I would love to run a half marathon....

Exam done - PHEW!

I'm having a nice time sitting here after having done my 3 hour mid-sem exam this morning. I think it went largely okay apart from having to draw a Wigger's diagram in full detail. I suggest you Google it (try wikipedia) and laugh along with me about how that was certainly not going to happen!
Headed to the gym afterwards, then my physio friend took another look at my poor old foot. He has absolutely forbidden me to run for the next 4 days minimum, and pointed out all the bruising on the bone underneath my ankle. He says I'm heading straight for stress fracture disaster and I'm sure he's right. So, for now, it's barefoot on the cross-trainer, weight-training, and I am really looking forward to seeing how my old runners go when I head back to Melbourne on Thursday night. In the meantime, he has taped me up and added a couple of heel wedges into my shoe to see if that helps.

Sunday
Ran 5k and walked 2.5k, burning 616cal. My foot was really giving me grief so couldn't manage more than that, and knew I shouldn't procrastinate too much from study! Food was generally good, had Mish's steak sandwich again for tea which I really enjoy. Cals in 1257.

Monday
Hit the gym before class, doing 4k on the cross-trainer at level 11-12, then 4.5km on the flat treadmill at 10k/hr. Burnt 1014cals which I was really happy with. Ate a few too many bikkies provided during our morning tute, but total cals in was 1290. Had de-frosted 12wbt leftovers for lunch and tea, mindful of not procrastinating too much with cooking, with my big exam Tuesday morning.

I went to the gym after the exam today - cross-trainer for 1/2 an hour & some weights stuff, burning 670cal. Leftovers again for tea as I can't be bothered going to the shops and I've got plenty more good frozen 12wbt options in the freezer.

I'm hoping for a big number tomorrow - 1kg+. I have definitely put in the work, with a cal deficit of 300-1000 per day (though making sure never to eat <1200cal). I'm not sure what I'll do if I haven't lost at least 1kg. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!!!

SSS

Well its now Saturday, and I can definitively say that an SSS is no challenge at all when you have an exam on Tuesday that you are desperately procrastinating for!!!

Anyway, Friday first.
Attempted forefoot running with a strike rate of 175/min as per my physio friend's advise. Managed 50m max I'd say, for 2 reasons: 1) I established I don't normally run that fast anyway! and 2) Foot was killing me. The med student in me did some researching and discovered it's my fibular/peroneal trochlea that's getting pains from my shoe. Still, I somehow managed to run 7.5km and burn 604cal despite the intermittent pain (seemed to lessen as I went along - perhaps my running style changes as I fatigue?).
It was a day of 12wbt meals for breakfast lunch & dinner: boiled eggs w/ vegemite soldiers, then last night's leftover stuffed capsicum, then a delicious sausage w/ mash & balsamic onion for dinner. Rather than 2 generic low fat sausages I ate just one delicious turkey, cranberry & basil sausage that I'd bought at the farmers market (if
you've never eaten one of Lockton Gourmet's sausages, you are seriously missing out!), and accounted for the extra cals in MFP. Couldn't resist some of my housemate's homemade apple pie afterwards, which would have kept me within cals apart from I also couldn't resist a scoop of her honeycomb & butterscotch icecream. Oops! Cals in 1355 for the day.

Got up at 8am looking forward to some SSS-procrastinating though slightly concerned about my foot. Folded up a sock inside my shoe to lift up my heel and that definitely helped, so I will try 2 socks tomorrow and see if that fixes the problem entirely, until I can get some heel wedges.
It was a beautiful morning. I ended up running 10k and then walking a further 2k. I passed (lapped) an elderly couple doing my same route in the opposite direction to me and of course much slower, but it was funny that we said hello 4 times! The best bits of the morning were 1) managing 10k despite my sore foot 2) saying hello to other people out enjoying the weather and 3) creeping over that elusive 1000cal barrier again. Managed 1006cal all up in 82min. Had the last of my AMAZING farmer's market oranges for breakfast, lunch was leftovers, and for dinner made Mish's beef with creamy mustard mushroom sauce & beans. Pretty yummy. Cals in 1206 WOO-HOO!

Mentally I'm really struggling with not getting past the 4kg weight loss barrier. I know there's 8 weeks left but I highly doubt I'll get to 10kg weight loss in that time. I DO fit into my pre-Europe jeans, which was one of my goals, but I certainly wouldn't look good in a bikini yet! Wish me luck and willpower and the ability to say NO to snacks! ;)

Winners and losers...

Definitely about time for another update.
So, this week's weigh-in was not good. Up 300g :( Pretty disappointed as I exercised at least 500cal worth every day. Did have a few red flag meals (including the night before weigh in!) but tried to have no snacks during the day to account for them. Hmm actually there were 4 meals out now I count them!!!
Did improve on the fitness test though - can now run 1km in 4min 33sec. Definitely felt an asthmatic wheeze coming on again during it though - must ask my doc about it (given it only comes on with super exertion, she will probably just tell me to avoid that!). Managed 51 knee push-ups in a minute, extended plank time by 1min, no change in wallsit time. Have lost a couple of centimetres but no great change there either.
Here's the week's summary.

Thu
Cals in 1562 due to some binging when I got to Mums after a long day. How to avoid this???! Did make Mish's beef pad see ew for dinner which was yummy. No exercise today due to a long day with a TON of driving (3 hours or so).

Fri
Pub lunch (happens just 4 times a year due to being at city campus of my university) and a couple of snacks meant my cals in were about 1379. Did do a 6k run before uni though and burnt 532cal. Was supposed to go out for dinner/drinks after uni but was mega-tired and didn't want to have an absolute cal blowout so went home and rested and studied instead. What a nerd, haha!

Sat
Big day at work then out for dinner - thai. Shouldn't have had the spring rolls but did so came in at 1813cal for the day with only 100cal out on a brief dog walk. Hmm starting to realise why I had the gain this week!


Sun
Reigned it right back in today cals wise, burning 500cal and eating 1234cal including Mish's beef & guinness pies for tea. Made it with red wine instead and it was yummy, Mum enjoyed it too. I think this was the day I did the fitness test. I got my 1k time down to 4min33sec which I thought was good until I started googling it, haha! Did get asthma again at the end which I MUST ask the doc about (having not had asthma since I was in early primary school).

Mon
I believe cals in was about 1000, and cals out 634, but hard to say as I was out at a function for dinner which was a selection of canapes (all of which I did my best to log into MFP, but who knows!).

Tue

Out for dinner with Mum & sis, guessing 750cals for dinner alone - chicken parma & 2 slices of thin potato pizza? Prob more... Big day on the exercise though with a 6k run, 2k dog walk, 3.4k walk to dinner & back, totalling 814cal out (and about 1377 in).


Wed
What began as an attempt to eat well dissolved into eating icecream...oh dear! Made Mishs' thai kangaroo salad for tea. Visually it looked good, but I couldn't handle the taste. Ate about half of it then gave up. Cals in ~1475, cals out 576

Today
My new runners are giving me terrible pains just below my right ankle. I over-pronate, meaning my foot tilts inwards and my shoe impinges on that part of my foot. I usually wear orthotics but they make my whole foot ache with these shoes. A physio friend has suggested trying to run on my forefoot so I am going to give that a go tomorrow. In any case, burnt 551cal (2k on cross-trainer level 12 in 30min, and 3k on treadmill no incline 18min) and ate 1337 (couldn't resist 2 pieces of choc after dinner!). Made Mish's quinoa, lemon, chilli & fetta stuffed capsicums and really enjoyed them.